


no soup for you

by guineaDogs



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, M/M, Tweek has a real life DNI, nothing happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 10:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20872436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guineaDogs/pseuds/guineaDogs
Summary: Tweek works at a cafe. When a very handsome guy comes in for a coffee one day, Tweek comes to an impasse.





	no soup for you

_ Ah, shit _ . He was going to be late for work. It wasn’t on an account of oversleeping; he was up on time, he was out of the door on time, but what he  _ hadn’t _ accounted for was the ice on the sidewalk. He wasn’t certain about how they came to be such a mess. It was like the sidewalks had never been shoveled or salted, but instead someone hammered down the snow until it melted and refroze into one massive sheet of ice. Every step was at his own peril. But the bus stop was in sight, and surely a bus would arrive soon to pick him up. 

Carefully, step by step, he made his way closer to the bus stop, and when he went he arrived, it was with a few moments to spare. Tweek sighed with relief. The bus pulled into its spot, wheels crunching on the snow and ice, and its door opened.

Tweek was about to step in and pay his fare when—

“G’mornin’,” came the overly chipper words from the bus driver. That wasn’t normal. The  _ driver _ wasn’t normal. His heart rate quickened. There was no way he could get on that bus: the driver was older, probably fifty-something, and a complete stranger.

“I don’t know you!” In his panic, Tweek slipped, falling back onto the ice while others around him gave him a passing glance before getting onto the bus.

“Are you coming or not?”

“No!” He was absolutely doing to be late, but he just could not interact. The bus pulled away and Tweek haphazardly got to his feet. Getting to work was going to take  _ much _ longer now, and he was absolutely going to be late, but there was nothing he could do about it. Surely his boss would understand.

It wasn’t safe to text and walk at the same time, so he paused in his trek to type out a quick message to his shift supervisor:  _ sry im gonnae be late the driver was diffe retnet but im walking now! _

The text from his supervisor, a tall redheaded thing named Kyle that he’d known for years, responded immediately.  _ Are you fucking kidding me? Mercedes already called out. I need you to get here ASAP. _

He anticipated a ‘k’ more than anything, but apparently this was just the tone for the day. Pocketing his phone, he continued walking the rest of the way to the cafe where he worked. The place was packed when he arrived, and Kyle looked absolutely frazzled manning both the register, the bar, while getting into it with a total  _ Karen _ .

“I already told you it was going to take a while when you came in, lady, it’s just me—”

“Don’t call me lady!”

Tweek was familiar enough with Kyle’s temper to know where this was going, so he quickly went into the back to wash his hands and grab his apron. As soon as he was back, Kyle put him on register, and the following hour passed quickly as they beat the morning rush.

By midmorning, the rush dissipated. There were a few people in the cafe, mostly college students at the tables with their laptops out and textbooks open. It meant that when the door chimed to announce a new customer, it truly caught Tweek’s attention.

Even more so when Tweek got a look at who entered: two men, one of them on the shorter, stockier side with a thick mess of brown hair. The other one, though— _ whew,  _ he was a looker! But therein lied the problem. Finding someone attractive? That was… inappropriate, Tweek knew that. He couldn’t help it. The man was tall, racially ambiguous, and had black hair that appeared silky to the touch. 

“I want one with a lot of whipped cream,” the shorter one said as he peered up at the menu.

His cute companion shook his head. “No way. I’m not risking you making a mess of my rental.”

Tweek’s heart seized up. A  _ rental. _ That meant that he had to be twenty-five or older. He was twenty-five or older, and Tweek, who was only twenty-two, didn’t already know him. He couldn’t… He couldn’t talk to him. He couldn’t take his order when he was ready. 

Fortunately, the men were still deliberating, and it gave Tweek time to pull Kyle aside. “Can you handle them?”

Kyle looked over his shoulder to look at the customers, brows raising. “Is there an issue?”

“I just… I overheard something that implies that they’re twenty-five or older. They can’t interact with me.”

“Right.” Kyle said slowly, but he agreed anyway, and walked over to take their orders. Tweek stood in the storage doorway, watching with wide eyes from afar. Kyle wrote an order on one cup, and started on the second. Tweek could hear everything clearly.

“A quad shot coconutmilk latte with two pumps of hazelnut, got it. What’s your name?”

“Craig.”

“I  _ love _ that name.”

“Really?” The tall one, Craig, was now leaning against the counter as he chatted up Kyle. Tweek felt a twinge of… something unpleasant, but there was nothing he could do about it. He could merely watch Kyle write his number on Craig’s cup before making the drinks.

They kept talking, and eventually Craig and his friend left. Tweek went about his day, and had to endure with the knowledge that Kyle got a date out of his inability to talk to other adults.


End file.
